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I never went back to the job at the tavern, nor did I return to the dingy little apartment I'd called home through my pregnancy. I look back on that period as a kind of exile I put myself through as punishment for the sin of leaving my family for something as "trivial" as love.Of course, it wasn't trivial, but I felt like I needed to be alone to try to mend my broken heart and to pay for the pain I put my family through. Something deep in me needed for me to be subtly degraded so I could learn the lessons from my mistake.And it was certainly degrading to live in that little place, working at a menial, sometimes dehumanizing job -- a job that included barely-consensual sex on the side -- and trying to scrape out a living, all while carrying a growing baby in my belly.I resolved when I left the hospital with Angel and returned to Montgomery that I would never live like that again. And I haven't.The first thing I did was work out a rent agreement with Daddy and Flo. I was going to live. I raised the subject with her and she clammed up on me. That did give me a stronger supposition, but then I’ve met with Ashley and Christine several times to talk about your arrangements for them at your house and the work and all. I even picked up that you cleverly set up a situation where you didn’t have a conflict of interest situation in assigning them a grade last semester, and now you’ve done it again by having them co-teach with you in a course they are also students in; an automatic ‘A’ out of the starting gate.“Lastly, Doug and I were having dinner at a Greek restaurant in Newburyport one day, and you came in with Ashley and Christine. You were all very proper – too proper. You looked like you wanted to make love to each other right there in the dining room but were all resisting the urge to do so. You didn’t see us, but I had a straight-line view of your expressions. I knew right then you were in love with both of them, and they with you.”“Will I be disciplined and.
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